Lately I’ve been watching a lot of videos on minimalism, decluttering, and organizing.* (I’m on a bit of a journey ! ) One of the tips that really clicked with me was to recognize the stuff I have kept for my “fantasy self”. Example: art supplies. I like to draw. I’m not very good at it, still I enjoy the process and the challenge to improve. So at one point, after beginning an on-line drawing course, I purchased a small selection of sketch pads, artist’s pencils and erasers, a basic watercolor kit…. But here is the issue: while I like to draw, I very rarely make time to draw. For a short while I kept a sketchbook with me, and would pull it out during down times, such as waiting in a waiting room. Most of the supplies never got used more than a few times. Then they languished in a drawer for two or three years, not only taking up what I now view as “valuable real estate”, but also silently mocking me: for not making use of them, for not becoming a better artist, for wasting money on unused items. Pulling open that drawer to retrieve something, those supplies would remind me of the fantasy self that hasn’t materialized. Remind me that I like to draw. That I could be a better artist if I’d just apply myself a little. That I had supplies at the ready…. So when someone recently put out a call on Facebook for donations of craft supplies, I was ready to part with these still useful items that were serving only as a distraction in my real life. I’m starting to recognize a powerful reality: that the artistic, well-read, upcycling, recycling, repurposing, making-from-scratch, impeccable housekeeper Jennie; the one with good hair, who takes long walks, keeps in touch with lots of friends, never misses a Bible study, and has extra time play music, garden, and knit for her friends and family, will…sadly…never be.
R.I.P. fantasy Jennie.
Meanwhile, I reread the Bible book of Philippians and was amazed afresh to see seemingly unrelated aspects of my life converge on one point. The videos I’d been watching and applying, and the passages I was reading distilled in my brain as these two verses lodged in my thoughts for days:
Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.
–Philippians 4:11-12, New American Standard Bible
The secret of contentment. This phrase kept percolating to the surface of my thoughts. The apostle Paul says that he has learned the secret of having abundance, the secret of being filled, as well as being hungry and suffering need. I can easily grasp that there is a secret to getting along with “humble means”. Or that one has to learn how to be content when hungry. It’s less obvious to me that there is a secret to getting along when there is plenty, that contentment must also be learned when there is abundance. Our culture constantly sends us messages to the effect that we are but one purchase away from happiness. In media and social media we are bombarded with messages that portray the ideal life—one that is the tiniest bit beyond where we are now—and that if we can stretch ourselves just a bit more, only a little more money, a slightly upgraded car or house or job or whatever, then we will have arrived to the place where contentment comes naturally. While all along, the big secret of contentment is that it is unrelated to how much we have. Isn’t that the message of those verses above, “…I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” (emphasis mine). In another place, this same writer says,
But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.
–1 Timothy 6:8, New International Version Bible
Talk about the basic necessities! Isn’t this a somewhat shorter list than what most of us would consider the bare minimum (note that housing is missing from Paul’s list)? I continued to edit inventory throughout my house, while also attending to my contentment; considering purchases more carefully, with an eye to the motives behind my desires…. Reminding myself of the secret of contentment.
As I lay in bed early one morning, these concepts swirling and bumping around in my brain, a new “fantasy self” emerged in my mind’s eye: a me characterized by contentment. That can be the image I’m aspiring to, the Jennie I daydream about. But here’s the most wonderful catch to this fantasy: because of God’s hand in my life, that soul of contentment is completely attainable!
How can I be so confident that this alternate Jennie is not just another fantasy, but instead something I can realize (probably in the very near future)? Because I know that it is God’s will for me. This is what God wants for His children, it is one of the ways I can glorify and honor Him. And God’s power is behind me when I am pursuing His purposes. A familiar Bible verse comes right on the heels of Paul’s bold claim that he knows how to get along in any condition he finds himself.
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
–Philippians 4:13 (NIV)
How could I possibly have contentment without putting gourmet meals on the table (and the internet) every night? How can I be satisfied without an Insta-worthy home or exciting activities enjoyed in a fashionable wardrobe, with model-gorgeous hair and makeup? {I’m glad I don’t have to try to explain my struggles to the apostle Paul, the writer of Philippians. I’m also thankful that God understands my weaknesses, and is at work in my life and heart in these things!} God Himself is at work in my heart, calibrating my content-O-meter, and disabling the want-more function. Earlier in this same book, Paul describes a synergy by which a Christian brings pleasure to God Himself. Imagine that! Here is what he says,
…continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.
–Philippians 2:12-13 (NIV)
I know that I don’t have what it takes to change my heart in these things. I am equally certain that, by God’s power, I can realize my new “fantasy self”—a grateful, contented person!
Lord Jesus, I am so bent towards complaining, in my heart if not with my mouth. I’m inclined to be dissatisfied, to so quickly become dissatisfied. Novelty attracts me like a shiny lure, but the happiness it delivers is so short-lived! Please help me to recognize the impulses that are driven by discontentment. Please work in my heart that I would be satisfied with what I have, whether more or less, and to find my satisfaction in You. Help me to overflow with gratitude before You always, in any circumstance that I am in. Thank You for the precious gift of Your Son, Jesus. Thank You for the work You do in my heart. Thank You for being my Good Father, who sees to my needs day by day.
* If you are interested in minimalism and/or decluttering, check out Dawn, the Minimal Mom: I Think We Could Be Friends; Cas from Clutterbug, Home | Clutterbug; and Dana from A Slob Comes Clean | Reality-Based Cleaning, Organizing and Decluttering. Each of these women have posted many helpful videos on YouTube as well.